The other day, when I was with the girls, one was recounting how much she had hated living in Toronto so many years ago when she was a new wife and mother and she had been sexually accosted while walking the baby in broad daylight.
And it struck me when I saw her that the other ladies present had only ever known her as middle aged. Somewhat overweight. A grandma.
I hadn't known her when she was first married but I did know her way back in the 80's when our children were very young. And the other ladies have no idea how lean and beautiful and fashionable this lady had been then. She no longer looks like someone a man might get crazy notions about while she walked a baby down the street and the story rather loses some of it's power - (I know I am safer on the streets now than I was back then - men no longer make inappropriate remarks in public places (well, except that creepy guy at the airport in his white shoes and comb-over))
I have no idea where I am going with this. I just wish I had said something. More so she would know that I remember her then and it's really how I still see her. This costume she - we wear - as we age, is not the real us. And while I don't wish it on any lady, she is still worth accosting.
9 sounds of silence:
It's so sad the way people view women as they reach middle age, and write them off as past it.
I think older woman look great coz they have that confidence that only time and experience can bring.
I read/see stories everyday of older women [grandmas] being assaulted, raped, robbed. I don't think the criminals much care how fashionable or young these victims are.
I think I see where you are going with this, and as much I see you wanting to pay a compliment it does come off a bit as "blaming the victim" because she was so attractive back in the 80s.
It's never too late to tell you friend how beautiful you still think she is. [And I wholeheartedly agree with Joe!]
Joey: I think the confidence and experience are more than partly responsible for keeping away the dickheads.
Skippy: I did not wish to blame the victim at all. The fact remains that youth itself is beautiful - and vulnerable. Inexperience in a potential victim gives an edge to a perpetrator. I'm pretty sure unattractive girls old or young, do not get the same unwanted attention from the pigs out there. You can not blame the victim for being attractive, but it can be provocative. It's not nice but it's true.
thank you for this wise post, as I contemplate my own physical fading. . .
Warm Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
> < } } ( ° >
Thats is so how it feels "physical fading" (qt; Cloudia).
Sometimes I'm glad of it . . Other times I hate it . . . I suppose thats part of the transition . . . Or maybe not, maybe this feeling goes on forever and one never settles into it?
I only imagined the feeling stopped eventually . . . O No.
How beautiful you still see your friend that way! How terrible that what she had was stolen!
Hugs,
J
Beautiful, I love this.
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